Everyone loves the honeymoon phase of a relationship. New love! You're obsessed with each other and could never imagine being apart for even one second. But eventually, you know something awful is going to happen. One of you is going to have to poop.
It's OK for a while. You spend a lot of time at bars and restaurants so you can use public, gender-separated bathrooms. You go home in the morning before you have your coffee. Hey, you could live your life like this! Everything's going to be just fine! You smile in selfies together even though both of you are in intense pain from constipation. They're more grimaces than smiles, really.
Then one day there will be an emergency. It might not be 3 months down the line, or even 6. It'll be far enough into the relationship that you've let your guard down. You got cocky and ate a little too much dried fruit in one sitting or did one too many Starbucks runs just because you could. And then, on that day, the best you can hope for is this woman's brave story:
"After a full day of staying in and eating takeout, I was embarrassed about having to poop at my bfs place for the first time," Reddit user putontheglasses writes. "While doing my business, he slipped this under the door."
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